What is the secret of the chemistry between grandparents and their grandchildren?

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The relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren is special in every way. Some children even think their parents love their grandchildren more than them, reflecting a common sentiment and expressing a unique family bond.

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Psychology experts, speaking to the Motherly website, explain that this is often because grandparents are at a stage in life where they are calmer and less busy than when they were raising their own children. Other experts highlight that the role of grandparents is less responsible compared to their previous role with their children, giving them the opportunity to enjoy time and emotional connection more deeply, without the daily pressures of parenting.

In this regard, scientists conducted a small study to understand how the brains of grandparents react to images of their grandchildren compared to those of their adult children. It was found that they feel more affection towards their grandchildren than towards their adult children.

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James Rilling, the lead author of the study, states: “What really stands out from the data is the activation in brain regions associated with empathy. This suggests that grandparents are primed to feel what their grandchildren feel when interacting with them. If the grandchild is smiling, the grandparent shares their joy; if they are sad, the grandparent feels their sorrow.”

In contrast, the study found that when grandparents look at pictures of their adult children, they show stronger activity in a brain region associated with cognitive empathy. This suggests that they may be trying to understand what their adult child is thinking or feeling and why, but not in an emotional way.

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Rilling adds: “It’s likely that young children have evolved traits that allow them to manipulate not only their mother’s and father’s brains but also those of their grandparents. An adult child doesn’t have that same ‘cute factor,’ so they may not trigger the same emotional response.”

According to experts, here are five key factors that play a vital role in creating a strong chemistry between grandparents and their grandchildren:

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1. Proximity
   Geographic proximity is a key factor in strengthening the relationship, as frequent visits or digital communication enhance the bond between grandparent and grandchild.
2. Frequency of contact

Grandparents who maintain regular contact, whether through in-person meetings or digital means, have stronger relationships with their grandchildren.

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1. Grandparents’ role in the family

Grandparents who are involved in the care or daily lives of their grandchildren have more opportunities to strengthen bonds.

1. Family expectations

Family culture and expectations play a role in building strong intergenerational relationships.

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1. Emotional bond

While grandparents often feel a stronger emotional closeness with their grandchildren, this bond requires continuous support as children’s interests expand.